This Is Lame Alert!!This Is Lame Alert!!This Is Lame Alert!!This Is Lame Alert!!
On the glorius starlit night of July 18 1998, deep, deep in the rural Catskill Mountains of New York State, a bunch of fully fed and sloshed EDAs humored Mamma Llamma Queen Amy and partook in her hairbrained scheme of the First Annual (she wishes!!) EDA/Bearsville/Steve's Campsite/Near That Campfire Over There !!
What Amy had done in the days preceding her weekend-release from Bellvue Hospital, was she had written a little short-story called "Conversations Around A Campfire" which was a fictional account of a conversation & happenings Amy had daydreamt about occurring at Bearsville '98 (of course, assuming she'd be let out by her doctors to join the merriment.)
Well, her team of 17 doctors got a hold of the story, which Amy had intended to type up and email to all of her friends in the outside world, but they were abhorred and aghast when they saw all the expletives in the orange crayon-written story. So, after an emergency doctors' conference in Tangiers, they edited the expletives out leaving this:
CONVERSATIONS AROUND A CAMPFIRE - by mamma llamma
Once upon a time, there was a gathering of _______ people around a campfire in Bearsville, NY. All of these people had met on the Internet, a _______ cyber place where _______ lurk and _______. What brought this _______ group together was a _______ young singer named Jewel. She had _______ hair, beautiful _______, slightly _______teeth, and a voice like a _______.
Let's listen in on some of the conversations at the campsite:
_______: "I can't believe Jewel never came out with that _______ album she recorded here two years ago."
_______: "I know. That makes me madder than a _______. What was it going to be called?
_______: "Fritz Creek _______, I think. No, maybe it was _______ Don't Bounce. Or was it Absence of ______ ?
Here are some other snippets of camp-conversation:
"What's wrong with that guy, Dennis? Is he crazy or just ______ ?"
"Alright! Who put a _______ in my sleeping bag?!"
And the most commonly heard: "I'm so happy to be one of the EveryDay ______! I wish we could all stay in Bearsville forever and just ______. Just keep that guy Dennis away from me!"
Well, when Amy arrived at Steve's Campsite for Bearsville '98 (with two nurses aides and a circus clown at her side....Amy LOVES clowns), she had three of the edited copies of the story dangling out of her shirts' elbow pockets. These copies were swiftly absconded by nefarian EDAs, who then were obviously befuddled by the blank spots in the story.
So, armed with writing implements & Fat-Free Pringles (tm), the three nefarian EDAs went around asking fellow EDAs (who were recovering from playing Lazer Kick-The-Can) to help fill in the blanks, but only asking for nouns, names, animals, adjectives, verbs etc, without revealing to the EDA-folk submitting the words as to what they were being used for. (i.e. "Hey Tammy, gimme an adjective, will ya?....thanx Love....and oh, is anyone eating that hotdog?....thanx")
Then, at the annual Mid-July Saturday Night EDA Campfire & Smores Cookout, the resultant completed EDA Madlibs were unveiled & read aloud for all attending to either laugh, moan, groan or simply walk away from. (you can now thank your luck stars there were only 3! :-)
Special thanx to William "Isn't that called blinking?" Bartholomew for typing up these madlibs and sending them on in. Atta boy Billy Bart!!!
Without further adeiu, here they is (filled in/submitted words are underlined):
EDA Madlibs #1 - (Good luck. Hope ya can get thru this)
CONVERSATIONS AROUND A CAMPFIRE
Once upon a time, there was a gathering of dirty people around a campfire in Bearsville, NY. All of these people had met on the Internet, a sexy cyber place where lunatics lurk and suck. What brought this goofy group together was an ugly young singer named Jewel. She had gentle hair, beautiful knees, slightly hairy teeth, and a voice like pudding.
Let's listen in on some of the conversations at the campsite:
Joshua Baummer: "I can't believe Jewel never came out with that bright album she recorded here two years ago."
Abel Rosaio: "I know. That makes me madder than a parakeet. What was it going to be called?
Katerina Campbell: "Fritz Creek Pony, I think. No, maybe it was Tables Don't Bounce. Or was it Absence of Horniness?
Here are some other snippets of camp-conversation:
"What's wrong with that guy, Dennis? Is he crazy or just busting?"
"Alright! Who put a Double Stuff Oreo Cookie in my sleeping bag?!"
And the most commonly heard: "I'm so happy to be on of the EveryDay Sheep! I wish we could all stay in Bearsville forever and just imbibe. Just keep that guy Dennis away from me!"
EDA Madlibs #2 - (Hang in there, just two to go)
CONVERSATIONS AROUND A CAMPFIRE
Once upon a time, there was a gathering of spooky people around a campfire in Bearsville, NY. All of these people had met on the Internet, a beautiful cyber place where muskrats lurk and read. What brought this windy group together was a smooth young singer named Jewel. She had dark hair, beautiful testicles, slightly pendulous teeth, and a voice like a motherf----r.
Let's listen in on some of the conversations at the campsite:
Steve Messina: "I can't believe Jewel never came out with that crunchy album she recorded here two years ago."
Abel Rosaio: "I know. That makes me madder than a llama. What was it going to be called?
Mike Connell: "Fritz Creek Igloo, I think. No, maybe it was *Fungi* Don't Bounce. Or was it Absence of Love?
Here are some other snippets of camp-conversation:
"What's wrong with that guy, Dennis? Is he crazy or just worn?"
"Alright! Who put a Kosher Baby Dill Pickle in my sleeping bag?!"
And the most commonly heard: "I'm so happy to be on of the EveryDay Pizzas! I wish we could all stay in Bearsville forever and just wrinkle. Just keep that guy Dennis away from me!"
EDA Madlibs #3 - (It's almost over!! It's almost over!! :-)
CONVERSATIONS AROUND A CAMPFIRE
Once upon a time, there was a gathering of sexy people around a campfire in Bearsville, NY. All of these people had met on the Internet, a luscious cyber place where frogs lurk and agitate. What brought this runny group together was a creamy young singer named Jewel. She had glowing hair, beautiful uvula, slightly sappy teeth, and a voice like grass.
Let's listen in on some of the conversations at the campsite:
Erica (puddini): "I can't believe Jewel never came out with that blue album she recorded here two years ago."
Campsite Steve: "I know. That makes me madder than a sloth. What was it going to be called?
Katerina Campbell: "Fritz Creek Tunnel, I think. No, maybe it was Nibblers Don't Bounce. Or was it Absence of Embarrassment?
Here are some other snippets of camp-conversation:
"What's wrong with that guy, Dennis? Is he crazy or just broken?"
"Alright! Who put the Olestra in my sleeping bag?!"
And the most commonly heard: "I'm so happy to be on of the EveryDay Hairballs! I wish we could all stay in Bearsville forever and just careen. Just keep that guy Dennis away from me!"
I told ya it was lame!
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Disclaimer: Amy is not really crazy. She only THINKS she's crazy.
"Now I'm Worried"
The first issue of Mad Magazine - October/November 1952
